New Girl

My 2020 word seems to be pretty apropos.

I started a new job last month and boy, was that uncomfortable - I haven’t been the new girl in 30 years!  It took me back to my elementary school days where I experienced being the new girl several times. Now, as it was back then, there are cliques (we call them teams), some people are more friendly than others, and it sometimes feels like people are speaking another language with their inside jokes and shared experiences (and company lingo). 

I have also gone from being an expert to knowing nothing! With time I will get there but it’s been a minute since I’ve had this feeling of helplessness and lack of confidence.

NOTE: I am excited about my job and look forward to the challenges/rewards it brings! 😊

And speaking of learning new things, I am going to back school. The learning part isn’t as uncomfortable as acknowledging that I never finished my degree. But a year from now, I’ll have one less regret and that is part of what my word is all about.

WORD

Happy New Year Bettys!! I hope y’all had a lovely holiday!

As we begin a new year, there’s lots of talk of having a word to represent 2020. I have chosen UNCOMFORTABLE. I know this seems like a weird choice as most words are usually of a more positive nature. However, UNCOMFORTABLE is designed to be positive as being UNCOMFORTABLE for me is about breaking through barriers, stepping outside, trying new things, going for it. Embracing UNCOMFORTABLE is about experiencing growth in mind, body and spirit.

I know there are other words or terms I could use but I like UNCOMFORTABLE. It’s different, it shakes things up, it’s not matchy-matchy – cuz y’all know I don’t do matchy matchy. 😉 Whatever word you choose, should you choose to have one, I encourage you to choose the one that speaks to you – regardless if it’s positive or negative, generic or unique, general or specific. It’s YOUR WORD – it should reflect you. After all, that’s what be-tty is about!

To Be List

I’ve become a fan of Maria Shriver. She is currently co-hosting with Hoda on the Today Show. This morning she was talking about creating “to do” lists and she was thinking of something different. Instead of a to do list, how about a “to be” list.

That got me thinking. I have been pondering my resolutions and what I want to do in 2020. Now however, I feel the better question – or first question – should be “what do I want to be?”
That is the foundation and, I believe, will have the greatest impact on the goals I set for next year.

PS. If you are interested in Maria’s weekly newsletter: https://mariashriver.com/sundaypaper/

Choo Choo

Last weekend I was stopped at a railroad crossing.  As the train rolled by, I recalled how much my grandfather loved trains. Coincidentally, there was a track that ran along the back of my grandparent’s property. Granddaddy would share stories about trains and the rail yard as we walked along them. 

I also thought of Choo Choo. Choo Choo was a stray cat we found sitting by the fence. Upon sharing our sighting with Grandma, her response was less than charitable (“don’t feed it”).  Later that evening when Grandma was upstairs in her sewing room, Granddaddy called me out to the kitchen. Without saying a word, he showed me a bowl full of milk and then started for the back door. Without saying a word, I followed. As we walked back to the house, he looked down at me with his bright blue eyes, smiled and said, “don’t tell your Grandmother”.  He was my hero. I wouldn’t rat out Diana Prince for being Wonder Woman or Bruce Wayne as Bat Man - NO WAY I was gonna tell on Granddaddy!

It didn’t take long for Grandma to catch on (we suddenly were drinking lots of milk and Choo Choo was making regular appearances).  When I expressed concern for Choo Choo’s well being, Grandma’s response was less than hospitable (“that cat is not coming in this house”). The following weekend Granddaddy pulled out Lassie’s old dog house.  It had a new second story and was furnished with straw and blankets. He even added Choo Choo’s name above the opening.  I didn’t think I could ever love him anymore than I did at that moment!

It wasn’t long after that we realized Choo Choo was a girl. I was over the moon when Brownie, Cookie, Cupcake, Marshmallow, Popcorn, Pumpkin, Sugar and Taffy came along. Grandma did not share my sentiment and was very adamant that we could not keep them. But as the weeks went by, Pumpkin and I formed a bond. When Pumpkin was one of the last kittens left, Grandma suddenly had a change of heart and said we could keep just one. 

I know my grandfather wasn’t always a good husband or father but he was definitely a good Granddaddy.

Happy Fall Y'all

One of the reasons I like living in this area is the change of seasons.  With today being the first day of Autumn, it’s time to swap out spring/summer with my fall/winter stuff!  Fall is my favorite season so I actually already started (I usually pull out the Christmas stuff after Thanksgiving so I want to get as much “fall time” as I can). In case you are wondering, the items I swap out are: bed linens, towels, rugs (layering rugs is a great way to add warmth to a room and get double use out of a rug), curtains (including shower), sofa slipcovers, and pillows (pillow covers are awesome and it’s probably no surprise I get mine on Amazon!).  I am mixing things up this time.  Since I ordered new slipcovers, I’m not hanging the brown curtains I usually put up - I’m keeping the white ones. (They are heavier than the brown ones and match the slipcovers better so I’m telling myself they are “winter white”.)

Another reason I like season changes is because there is a sense of “anew” in the air, an opportunity to start fresh when a new season rolls around. This is especially true for me.  And, on this day of equinox – where day and night are balanced – I finally feel a sense of balance in my life as well.  Before, it seemed very topsy-turvey.  Now, I feel balanced between looking ahead (finding a job and the new adventure that holds) and focusing on the now (getting my TH ready to rent, completing my online class, working on my blog, etc).

Perhaps this season change will be an opportunity for you to find balance and start anew???  If not, Winter starts December 22nd.  😊

No crying in baseball.

Monday it all hit me.  Not only did I lose a job I loved but I realized I lost a part of my identity as well. I started at the company when I was wee lass of 18 and was there longer than I’ve been alive. I wondered who is QT and is she gone forever?  So I cried.
I told myself being unemployed wouldn’t be so bad. It was summertime – it would be like a vacation. But summer is over. I need something to do, I need a purpose – but what? Having no sense of direction is frustrating.  So I cried.   
Job hunting is not fun but it SUCKS when you have no idea what you want to do.  I imagine it would be easier if I had a title like nurse, lawyer, forklift driver or a field such as accounting or human resources.  At this point, I feel like I am either under or over qualified for every position; I’m going crossed eyed reading job descriptions; and let’s not forget the rejection (a little is good, right?).  So I cried.
I’m worried about finances. Unemployment only covers half my expenses, my severance is tied up in retirement, and the guy renting my TH moved out. I told myself I would not panic until November – but I cried anyway.
I know this is a challenge, an opportunity to grow, to start something new, to find another passion. In the future, this will be “a blessing in disguise”. But right now, in this space, it feels uncertain. It’s also scary, aggravating, and humbling. So I cried.

Then I called Grandma. She’s 92. She is also sassy and wise. I love, trust and respect her immensely. If Grandma says it’s going to be alright, I know it will all work out. And then, just like she taught me, I pulled myself together and did what I needed to do. So I spent the week sending out my resume – regardless of whether I thought I was qualified or not.  If it seemed interesting, I applied. I began the process of getting my project management certification. I dug into the stack of books I’ve been wanting to read (I started with The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren b/c I’ve been praying!).

Then yesterday, my renter gave me a check for September. This morning I got a call regarding a job. Grandma was right (and God is hearing my prayers). So no more tears for me.

Who is Betty?

Having turned 50 earlier this year, I’m in a space where I feel comfortable (well, pretty comfortable) with me. I am still “a work in progress” of course but, now I move forward with a different spring in my step — that’s “be-tty”.

be-tty is being the true you, being true to yourself (pinterest fails and all!).
be-tty is me, be-tty is you, be-tty is a tribe. I invite you to join me on my journey and hope you will share yours as well. Let’s be a be-tty together!